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high demand

October 25, 2003

what i did today was work on finding a new roommate. we have three favorites and it's hard to know how to choose someone. i mean, how do you know who will be really good to live with every every day? based on talking to them for an hour. and it gets a little ridiculous after awhile. trying to quantify people's qualitative...well...qualities. i think this person might be a tidge more friendly. reliable. low drama. etc. now i am hot and sleepy and we still don't know who will move in.

there was a peace march right up hayes street in the brightness, past where we ate lunch and quantified human beings. and it felt like failure, like betraying myself and every single person out there in the street chanting yelling carrying signs because i should have been there. i wanted to and i felt it and i should have been. and tears welled up because of memories of another protest day and how everything was different then. me and my friends and the world. since that day there have been large and small wars and losses, collateral damage. and no matter how much i do to help other people and society. it never ever feels like anywhere close to enough. and that feels small and helpless.