Odds and Ends

June 29, 2003
10:52 am

i have lots to tell today, are you ready?

friday was inspired. with wine and fancy food then beer in the smokey place then more beer free after closing in the coffeeshop and meeting the coffeeshop girl who is really quite nice. then upstairs to my apartment and the four of us in my room reading and listening and it was so much fun. then in the hall too loud but it's okay, roommates aren't angry now. couldn't sleep until past 4am because each time i closed my eyes the world got spinny in an uncomfortable way and i could feel it in my stomach.

but i wrote some fragments like these:

her sticky sweet mango voice
honey lips shaping words beautiful

sirens bleat the lonely lullaby of the city cold ice wails float above streets still reeling from record afternoon

music soothing and
light kisses back of eyelids and
thoughts wander until
i feel you swell up beneath my skin

yesterday was slow and lazy and ended well, with a free doughnut and good movies. oh and there was the morning phone call from david saying "i'm going camping this week, coming back sunday and i wanted to let you know and"

*call drops*
*he calls back*

"sorry, i'm on the 5 and reception is bad but i wanted to say it was great hanging out with you and i'll call when i get back." my my my! and when i said "okay, have a good trip" what i really meant was "my god i love you and thank you for this" because i know what it meant, i understood the importance and it's strange because i should be able to say the glowingest words to him but it's too hard and so i don't but maybe maybe maybe later.

now it is 11:15 and i haven't left my room yet because i know that when i do it means it is time to clean the apartment and other such grownup activities. but then if i get it done it will all be clean and tidy and snapped up tight and maybe i can hide tonight with candles and write something on paper, something to keep.