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finite fluid focused

September 30, 2004

i need to learn to not let my own emotional state depend on the states or actions of my core people.

states. actions.
state transition table.

emotional experience/process represented as a state transition table. how a system changes from one state to another in reaction to input. artificial emotion, you could simulate it the same way as artificial intelligence? and how yours interacts with others, nodes and lines sort of bumping one another, pushing each other around. and if you could simulate it, you could predict it? you could...change it?

woah, deep.

ah, man, i was gonna write more about that but then i had to go downstairs and get some food and i lost the thought. and furthermore, they put some bacon in my clam chowder and i didn't realize it until i was almost done. harumph. now my stomach hurts but i'm sure it's all in my head. stomach in my head? i feel vague and nonsensical today.

but anyway, i do need to learn that. because really, i have spent all this time whining about how my WHOLE life is SUCH a MESS and blahblahblah. but really...okay, one part of my life is a mess. and it's an important part, but there are other parts that are important too. maybe even more important right now. so a messed up love it's okay. i've got a good job and a great house and incredible friends and a million fun and interesting and beautiful things to do and see and be.

it's all about where one choose to put one's focus.