sad pots and tofu man

August 18, 2004
12.34a

want to go home but i wonder where that is now. told her

(her name is jasman you know. we worked together and now we don't because she is leaving for graduate school soon and her name is jasman her name is jasman she is beautiful)

told her "suddenly feel like i don't belong anywhere." now i'm thinking of the times i have felt belonging and how they were different from the others.

also i think "i don't belong anywhere" can also be phrased as "i belong everywhere." i mean i think they are roughly the same idea, the way you don't have one place where you're rooted and safe and you can let that close you off to everyone everywhere and make yourself into a stranger. or you can own the whole world, if you want to.

maybe there is no real true permanent belonging. everywhere is sadness and sometimes cruelty and mostly always always changing.