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here there be monsters

May 27, 2004

trust is a tricky thing, and every time seems to have its own rules. or maybe there just aren't any rules, ever. maybe it doesn't even matter what you believe or who you trust. sometimes you will be wrong and sometimes you will get hurt and sometimes you won't. life teaches us that intuition is fallible.

there is no good alternative though. not trusting brings attempts to control and that is a wasted effort and just makes you hard and small.

i know what i see and hear and i know how things feel but really nothing else. so we drag out this thing called trust and it's just like faith because you believe with no evidence. like a sunday school teacher saying "god loves you" and you are young and unknowing and helpless so you just believe, and you hope it's real because it sounds so good. we like to think as adults that our decisions are more informed, but i wonder.

i do trust. of course i do. it's just a funny experience going through the process of making that decision.