what i have

February 02, 2004
8.50p

i have new socks. they're yellow with orange and blue polka dots. they are shades of easter eggs, you can't look at them and not feel happy.

i have four fingertips that are swollen numb and bruised feeling. on an achey hand. this is wonderful. pressing fingers on metal strings and it hurts and what comes out is not really what i want it to be but still beautiful. beautiful to me anyway, and right now i am trying only to look at what is beautiful to me. i am allowing myself that.

i mean i really think i deserve at least that.