bittersweet, hopeful, depressed...these can somehow coexist inside my psyche which has been feeling rather more fragile lately. i have been skipping things i shouldn't skip. things that might keep me from slipping down farther but lately all i want is to be in my bed, sleeping or reading quietly with layers of blankets to keep me warm and to keep the world out, shut away in my room behind the thick wooden door that slides closed heavily to punctuate how alone i am inside here. relieved and safe. there are lessons that can't be unlearned.
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