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"come on, sweet head"

December 19, 2003

david materialized and took me off with his friends to fellini's 'i vitelloni' then to stara nova at bruno's then across the street for burritos. sometimes i wish i didn't have such a predictably good time with him, every time. even if we're talking about painful or frustrating things, i'm happy in the moment because i am with him and we are really just able to be fully and only ourselves and there is nothing that cannot be.

i realized just now that i have been crying over him for nine months. and he has never once seen me cry. i just cannot be that sad when he is nearby.

not that tonight was heavy or frustrating or anything like that. it wasn't. there was something different in the air (a changing, strange and a little worrisome) but i don't know what it really was. the conversation stayed safe, we spoke of birthdays and cars and the queen of england and playing music and how to laminate stained glass and the benefits of being a park ranger and the awful flu.

on the corner of 19th and mission i saw a very big sign high up on the side of a building that said:


i thought hmm, that sounds like a pretty good deal.