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November 23, 2003

okay, here's what it's gonna be. i know what i wrote before, but really. i'm not going to rest so much heavy hope on him anymore. nor on anyone else either. all of those things were true but another truth is that he decided something different and it isn't enough for just one person to do it.

some things you can control, most you can't. i'm going to clean out my closet. and i will file all my papers away and i will get another cd rack too for the overflowing ones. i will get a comfy chair for my room and put a little table with a lamp next to it, and that will be my reading and writing spot.

i will run and run and run because it makes me right.

i am so much better than this place where i have been holding myself stuck and afraid to move because of not knowing what else there is.

you'll see that i am.