squish

November 05, 2003
8.33a

feeling that edge of the abyss thing again, like impossibly many things to do and be and fix and something will have to give. also nobody there to tell me "you can do it. you can do it. because you are you." i tell myself but it isn't just the same thing, not at all.

and i need some time for me, a place where my mind can be quiet. everything is always too loud and it seems like my brain is trying to squish itself down very small to get away from the me that surrounds it.

i have headaches often.