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September 18, 2003
12:10 am

happy birthday aaron! and we shall celebrate life, celebrate you. thanks for surviving another year! rockin' good news. let's party.

realizing. my friendship with her. it's so much about what she wants. she wants to be heard. she wants advice. she wants comfort. she wants me to make her dinner. she wants me to bring her to thanksgiving. it would be the fourth year in a row. she wants to be able to call me from downstairs and have me come down and have a cup of coffee with her "real quick" while she's killing time before meeting c. she wants wants wants all the good safe warm close things we were, just like i do. she wants to pluck the best bits out of our messy, stewy relationship and stick them into her new life and have it all just so.

selfish you. you don't get the best parts of me anymore. not when all you offer me are the in-between spaces that you want me to fill.