curl

August 28, 2003
10:19 pm

last night i didn't do what i was going to do. instead i stayed home, ate raisin toast, and watched hal hartley's film "trust".

tonight i didn't do what i was going to do. instead i stayed home, ate raisin toast, and watched hal hartley's film "trust".

and it was lovely. warped and magnetic. and it was what i needed. and i think that sometimes i have to give myself what i need. look at myself like i would look at someone i love and say "you need a couch and blanket with a wonderful film and some raisin toast." because who else will do that?

she would have loved this too. and i miss those quiet times, unconscious intertwining. i miss making dinner for her. i miss the way she would say "you've got mad skills baby" and the way she would always take care of the dishes and i would help her. i miss those simple things full of comfort and care.

i don't want to walk backwards anymore. i just don't know how to turn around.