we are so good at fooling ourselves. we find ways to tell ourselves that somehow what we want to be true really is true, all evidence to the contrary. she really loves me. she's just scared. this will happen if i just wait. if i can just be her friend. if i give her what she wants. it would be good. i would be happy. i will be happy. someone will love me. things won't always be like this. fate shapes our lives. if it's meant to happen, it will happen. just go with the flow and everything will be fine. just fine.
we wrap ourselves in big thick blankets of comforting self-delusion. we sleep on beds of platitudes.