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July 30, 2003
10:21 am

well now. that was short-lived. how is it possible that i again so completely misread a situation, or allowed myself to really believe that this idealized outcome would happen.

so. alone, and i suppose that's best. i mean, she's right...if i'm really doing so well then why rush. if it's real then it will be real in six more months right? i mean, i want to believe that.

sad though. fell asleep with tears, woke up with tears. dry and headachey. too too many tears this year. going to change that now. you'll see. i'm going to get over her and then be her friend. i'm going to stay over him, and we are friends. it could be so much worse, really.

i mean, couldn't it?