what i want is for someone to come in here right now and put their arms around me. when i feel his absence like a tangible object and my fingers and toes are cold in july, that's the best thing i can think of. and here's what i would tell him: you said you wanted to stay you said you would love to stay so just stay god damnit.
the good news is i'm still in love with life, when i remember to forget all the drama. my friends are taking me out into nature for awhile. be good.