Folly

May 19, 2003
11:07 pm

so you spend a fortune trying to make yourself look like you didn't spend at all. and you sit in dark rooms hugging your knees and sinking teeth into soft places, hoping one type of pain will replace another. and the candle is yellow and the light burns so soft and warm and your eyes focus on it so beautiful. and you sleep and you sleep because sleeping is not thinking and you definitely don't want to think. but then you dream of all the things you didn't want to think about...so then what? you go and you go and you buy your coffee and croissant and you talk to people about their problems to make yourself feel better. and you put your face out in the sunshine knowing it will get burned. and you cry with the pain, and your friends tell you at least you felt the warmth. and you know what it looks like. the greatest kind of love. you know it and you wish you could cut out the part of you that knows.

"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise."