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Going with the flow...

May 05, 2003
2:47 pm

Each day I get a bit closer to happy. Lots of little reminders of someone I need to forget sprinkled here and there, today. I'm not getting derailed, like I probably would have a couple of weeks ago. The universe seems to have plans for me these days. Sometimes they don't make sense right away, but when I'm able to let go of my incessant need to control and just let things flow, then life gets easier.

The Grand Plan For Life now seems to involve a lot of time and space. That's been a hard one to go with...I struggled against it for quite awhile. I miss him, I think probably even more than I'm willing to admit to myself. Still feeling a generalized sort of quiet and sad. But not tied up in knots anymore.

It's weird, though. With how crazyintenseBIG this thing was, I sort of expected it to end with a bang, one way or another. The whimper is just anticlimactic and somewhat embarrassing.